Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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