i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
