Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
