Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
