Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
