Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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