This dress was meant to end up on your floor
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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