I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
