dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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