Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
