who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
