its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
