i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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