I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
