I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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