can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
even my farts smell like vagina
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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