did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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