he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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