I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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