he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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