This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
