i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
