He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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