Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
