I'm drive I can fine osifer
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
