so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
