Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
