is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
