i just had sex bonerless
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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