K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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