I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
