Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm like, not good at living.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
