Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
