ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
