What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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