Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
