I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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