hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I have post one night stand depression
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
