garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
