I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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