Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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