my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my being single is dangerous.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
