yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just had sex bonerless
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
