We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
