I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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