Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
