Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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