Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
