why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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