she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
